Trump Allows Comey To Live Dream; Comey Signs With Knicks

(Washington D.C.)  Proving once again to be the ultimate deal maker, President Donald Trump allowed F.B.I. Director James Comey to leave his post to pursue his real passion: basketball. The 6' 8" head of the F.B.I. was leading an investigation into possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia, but his real passion lay in setting picks and hitting turn-around mid-range jumpers in the NBA.

"This was one of the toughest deals I ever made, believe me," Trump said from the Oval Office this morning. "I mean the Knicks are bad, but getting them to take a 60-something white guy who hasn't played in years was tough. But, that's what I do. I make deals."

Trump dismissed the idea that Comey's release had anything to do with his agencies investigation into ties with Russia. "Don't be ridiculous. That had nothing to do with it. I just knew Comey really wanted to play in the NBA and I just really want people to be happy," Trump said.

For his part, Comey was thrilled. "This has always been a dream of mine. I mean, not necessarily the Knicks, you know, but still it's the NBA and that's big."

Comey is expected to come off the bench for Phil Jackson's squad and contribute right away. "We're looking for 10 - 12 pts and 6 - 8 boards every night, while giving Carmelo some rest at the three," Jackson said. The move, while unorthodox, is probably every bit as good as any the Knicks have made under Jackson. "We've not been good, no." he said weeping quietly.

Brett Erickson