Successful President Creates More America
(Kilauea, Hawaii) Future Nobel Peace Prize winner, Donald Trump, took a break from making the world a safer place and focused on making America more this week, as his administration oversaw the eruption of the Kilauea volcano on the island of Hawaii.
Entire new swaths of the greatest country on earth spewed forth from vents on the island, while scalding hot chunks of the freedomiest land there is rained down from Heaven.
"Previous administrations have tried and failed to make America more," the President said in a veiled swipe at the eruptionless administration of Barack HUSSEIN Obama, "but, we have done it."
The administration dismissed fears the lava flows are reeking havoc on the region, destroying homes and livelihoods in a terrifying crawl of all-consuming Hellfire. "It's an island," Trump said. "They've got all the water they need." Mr. Trump later hinted he may visit America's voweliest state to see the miracle for himself. "I don't know, maybe I'll go throw 'em some paper towels," he said. "But it is fire, so maybe we'd soak 'em real good with water, we'll see what happens."
Meantime, the one thing that's for sure is that America is not only getting greater under Trump, but there's also more America to get great. It's as is there's nothing this guy can't do.