Trump: "Look At This Funny Cat Today."
(Washington DC) On a day when absolutely nothing of import is happening politically, Donald Trump asked all Americans to come together and look at this picture of a funny cat.
"He's so funny looking," Mr. Trump said from the White House in Washington DC where absolutely nothing of consequence is happening right now. "He's wearing a wig and glasses, so he kinda looks like a person. It's SO funny, he looks like a Chinaman!"
"I'll bet there's other funny cat pics out there too," The President continued. "If I were you I'd spend all day today and possibly tomorrow googling 'funny cat pics' as there is absolutely nothing else going on here. All's quiet in D.C. today. It's the perfect day to just get on your computer and veg out to funny pics. We have the funniest cats in America. Simply the best. So proud!"
"I saw a pic one time of a dog riding a skateboard. That was pretty funny too! You could Google that today as well. Also, don't google 'Russia,' 'Putin,' or 'Comey testifies.' It's a complete waste of time. Nothing there at all," Trump said.
"Also, I would like to remind all Americans, BENGAZI, and HER EMAILS, and, of course, LOCK HER UP!" he added.