Trump Wins World Baseball Classic. Sends Puerto Rico Back To Their Own Country!
(Los Angeles) President Trump pitched 8 shut-out innings for America yesterday leading them to an 8 - 0 win and the title in the World Baseball Classic. The victory sent the foreign opposition back to where they came from, the foreign country of Puerto Rico.
The championship was the first for America having never won it under the leadership of Kenyan Barack Obummer. "This is another example of how I, and only I, am Making America Great Again," Mr. Trump said after the game. "Try as he might, my predecessor could never win this thing because he likes basketball which is for the blacks. But, I won it on my first try. It was easy, folks. Easy."
The win was also a victory for safety, as the losers were sent back to their own country of Puerto Rico, which is probably in Africa as many of the players looked black. "It's impossible to say how many lives were saved," White House spokesman Sean Spicer said after the game. "So many of those foreigners were probably terrorists, it's scary to think what would've happened if they had been allowed to stay. Luckily, President Trump had a good game. He shut them down for 8 innings and sent them back where they came from."
"I have the best pitches," Trump said from the clubhouse. "Really, the best. My pitches are so good. So good. I throw them and the batters are just like, 'what do I do, what do I do?' It's amazing really."