Yiannopoulos Loses Book Deal. Nation's Mothers Hear Complaints From Basement
Mother's across the country this week heard complaints and whines from the "apartments" in their basements as computer troll and piece-of-shit Milo Yiannopoulos lost his book deal and a spot at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, DC.
"He's just so sad," mother Janice Kerr said from her kitchen in Rice Lake, Wisconsin. "And when he's not sad, he's complaining...loudly," she said about her son Adam who's lived in the basement since returning from a semester of college in Madison. "Something about right's and women not being funny. He's very upset." "It's BULLSHIT!" Adam yelled from the basement having heard his mother's voice. "And...can you make me a grilled cheese?"
The pseudo-intellectual Yiannapoulos, who rose to fame calling women names on the internet, lost his deals when video surfaced of him condoning sex between a priest and a 14-year-old boy.
"He's our hero," 32-year-old pizza delivery guy Tony Capparillio said carrying a bag of his laundry upstairs to his mom at her house in Westchester, PA. "The way he picks on women who have in now way wronged him? It's a real inspiration." Yiannopoulos recently picked on African-American actress Leslie Jones for her portrayal in a movie. "I don't think women should even BE in movies, personally," Capparillio added. "Especially funny ones. They just ruin everything," he added sadly.
"I feel real bad for him," Capparillio's mom Sara said adding detergent to a load of whites. "He hasn't even felt up to looking for a job recently, the poor dear."
"Women aren't funny and shouldn't play video games. Period. Paragraph!" stay-at-home son Bruce Nabor said from his bedroom below his parents kitchen in Hugo, OK. "And Milo understood that. Now they're trying to silence him. It's BULLCRAP!" Nabor then declared loudly, "I'll do it LATER!" when asked to take out the garbage. "Geez! You know, guys like Milo don't have to put up with this kind of crap, I bet. They tell women what's up!" he said saying the last part quietly so his mother wouldn't hear.
"My boy is real upset," she would say later from the curb where she'd just placed the garbage. "It just breaks my heart to see him like this."
Other mothers who also can't get their grown children to move out reiterated Mrs. Nabor's worry. "My boy Vince has been a mess all week," 68-year-old mother Ruth Thomspson said from her kitchen in Menlo Park, NJ. "Poor Vince barely comes up from his video games anymore. "It's a real shame. He's such a good boy."