Kushner Setting Up Secret International Back Channel To House Of Pancakes
(Washington, D.C.) Senior White House Son-In-Law Jared Kushner worked to set up a secret line of communication with an International House known for their Pancakes. Sources confirm Kushner hoped to use the channel to open a dialogue designed to get the W.H. advisor a fourth cake with his three-stack.
"I have no comment," Kushner said spreading a pat of butter on some cakes in a local diner. "No comment at all." Kushner then signaled his waitress and ordered another short stack.
The move has been viewed by some as anti-waffle. "We support American Houses and they make waffles," House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said in a statement released by the DNC.
"President Trump doesn't see why we have to be fighting with pancakes," spokesman Sean Spicer said when asked about the controversy. "Frankly, and the President's been very clear on this, he doesn't see why we can't be friends with pancakes even the international ones."
Kushner also reportedly never mentioned his meeting with pancakes on his security clearance form. An omission that could lead to jail time. "That's just a simple mistake," a lawyer for Kushner commented. "He'd probably had so many hot cakes by that point that he wasn't thinking clearly."