America Looking Forward To Turning Away Refugees From Country They Just Bombed

(America)   Claiming to be concerned for their safety, citizerns of the greatest country on Earth began this week to look forward to the day they could turn away refugees from the country they just bombed.

"They're all potential terrorists," American Carl Thompson said from a diner in Olathe, KS where he was eating breakfast with his wife. "We've gotta vet these people. We can't just let 'em in just because their country is at war. They could be ISIS."

The United States launched 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles into Syria on Thursday as retaliation for a chemical attack on innocent children by brutal dictator Bashar al-Assad.

"It just broke my heart seeing those kids all dead like that," Thompson's wife Julie said. "Those poor dears. When they're over there, they're so innocent. It's just that when they want to come here that I think, whoa, wait a minute. Who are these people? What's their agenda? Have they been properly vetted?"

"It's just like that cute blonde Tomi Lahren said," Carl went on to say. "We're not locking our doors  because we hate who's outside, we're locking 'embecause we love who's inside. I mean, I feel sorry for those children, but safety first."

Brett EricksonComment