Animatronic Trump Calls Disney’s Hall Of Presidents Real “Sausage Party.”

Disney’s animatronic Hall of Presidents.

Disney’s animatronic Hall of Presidents.

(Orlando, FL)  The newly unveiled President Donald Trump animatron arrived at Disney’s Hall of Presidents in Orlando this week and immediately declared it a real “sausage party.”

”Where’s all the pussy?” it asked to no one in particular. “Is there gonna be no pussy here?”

”I’m afraid you must be a bit confused, Mr. Trump” responded animatronic George Washington. “This is a hall of...Presidents.” its animatronic arm sweeping out before it robotically.

“We represent the leaders and, for some of us, the founders of the United States of America.” chimed in animatronic Thomas Jefferson standing up from its spot on the faux wooden bench where it spends its life.

Animatronic Trump looked confused. “ chicks?”

”Let me take it from here,” animatronic Franklin Roosevelt said rolling forward in its wheelchair to the center of the room. “You see, Mr. Trump, this is the Hall of Presidents. There’s nobody allowed here who isn’t an animatronic representation of the leader of the free world.” Roosevelts upper torso turned in its chair, first left, then right. “Everyone you see here is a President. So, no, as you say...chicks.”

”Bummer.” animatronic Trump whirred sadly. “Wait, Hall of Presidents?  Does that mean...?” animatronic Trump scanned thee room until its visual receptors fell onto a thin dark animatron lurking in the immense shadow of animatronic Howard Taft. “Awww, Obama’s here?” it whined robotically.

Animatronic Obama smiled slyly.

”This sucks!” animatronic Trump said. “Nothin’ but dudes AND Obama? Aww, Jeez!” its robotic bottom lip jutting out. “Wait a minute,” animatronic Trump added after a long pause. “You guys are here forever and there’s no women? That must get pretty lonely.”

”Oh, we do all right,” hummed an animatronic Abe Lincoln. “In fact, I like it here quite a bit.” its robotic head turning back toward the tumult of robotic presidents behind him.

”But, if there’s no women,” animatronic Trump buzzed. “Who do you fuck?”

A toothy grin spread across animatronic Obama’s robotic face as it slid forward past Lincoln and Grant. “The new guy.” it whirred winking once.



Brett EricksonComment