Trump: "If I'd Have Known Sessions' Mouth Was So Small, I'd Have Stuck My Dick Somehere Else"
(Washington, D.C.) President Trump expressed displeasure today with the size of the mouth Attorney General Jeff Sessions has been using to pleasure him.
"If I'd have known it was going to be so small, I would have gotten somebody else," the President said. "I mean, I've already got tiny, tiny hands. If I want to be pleasures by something small, I can just take care of it myself."
The President is upset that Sessions can no longer service him the way he hoped when he named the former Alabama senator and known racist to be his first appointment to his cabinet. "It's very unfair," the President said before being distracted by some big trucks parked in the front driveway of the White House. "Very unf-can I go sit in the big truck? I wanna go sit in the truck." He concluded before running out of the Oval Office to pretend drive a fire truck.
AG Sessions, meanwhile, has remained tight-lipped over the remarks, perhaps saving his tiny, wet mouth for, at least, one last session with the man he first endorsed for the highest office in the land over a year ago when he blew then candidate Trump on hi campaign bus during a tour stop in Mobile.