Residents Of Shithole, Indiana Enjoying Brief Moment In Sun
(Shithole, IN) Residents of Shithole, Indiana are enjoying some new-found fame today after Pres. Trump used the term in reference to countries he doesn’t want immigrants to be from. “Why do we gotta keep taking ‘em from these shithole countries?” the President said today in reference to immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador and some African countries.
”We know, technically, he wasn’t talking abut us, but just to hear the President say, Shithole, feels good.” Shithole Mayor Ken Westerfield said from The Golden Corral Buffet where the town board was holding an emergency meeting. “And we’ve got to strike while the iron’s hot. That’s why we’re here tonight. That and the All You Can Eat Chicken-Fried Steak for $8.99 Special they got going.”
“Yeah, we haven’t had this much attention since those kids went missin’ in the ‘80’s,” added Deputy Mayore Chester Cattlefist. “This is great!”
”Shhhhh!” Westerfield shot back. “Don’t talk about THAT!” “Listen,” he continued. turning his attention back to the reporter. “This is about what’s happening right now in Shithole. President’s Trump’s remarks, while unfortunate and pretty much racist are, for us, a real boon. We’re open for business here in Shithole. We got a TJ Maxx going in where the KMart was and, fingers crossed, the Casey’s is expanding to include a breakfast bakery.”
”That’s right,” Cattlefist interjected, a mouthful of chicken gravy dribbling from his chin. “We haven’t had a real breakfast bakery since the ‘80’s when those kids went missing.”
”Will you shut-...hehehe he’s a kidder, that Chester,” the Mayor went on. “What I’m trying to say is, we know the President wasn’t talking about us when he complained too many brown people were coming to this country, but we’re still glad he said what he said. It’s our chance to strut a little bit and...who knows maybe get a business or two to come to town. Remember, here in Indiana, we’re not just a shithole, we’re THE Shithole.”