Nation’s Racists Relaxing On Hard-Earned Day Off

“Today’s a day for me, the white man.” 

“Today’s a day for me, the white man.” 

(Most of America)  American racists have been spending the day relaxing with family and friends, happy to get a day’s reprieve from spreading anti-diversity rhetoric.

”I slept in today,” racist Hank Simmons said from the porch of his trailer in Dayton, OH. “I can’t tell ya how long it’s been since I’ve done that. Usually, I’m up early getting the word out that diversity is not our strength and white people are the new oppressed minority, you know. But, today I decided to just kick back with a few friends and just chill. It’s what I would call a pretty great day.”

Many Americans have the day off today in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. who many white Americans know as a street in the bad part of town. Why we get a day off for a street is a mystery to most right-thinking patriots, but that wasn’t going to spoil the fun for many hard-working racists who’ve been putting in extra shifts.

”This last year has been the hardest I’ve worked in my life!” known Nazi Jenny Puffton said from her front yard in Kalispell, MT. “From marching against the removal of heroic Confederate statues, to preparing for the upcoming race’s just been non-stop. I’m thankful for just a day’s reprieve. So, a big thanks to whatever MLK is.”

The country’s leaders also enjoyed the day. Vice-President Mike Pence visited the MLK Memorial and was so relaxed he was able to crack a joke about caring about King’s bravery in proptesting inequality for the blacks, calling King “...a great American leader who inspired a movement...” Pence, of course, rightly left an NFL sports contest in disgust over the gross, unAmerican protests of some of its players who KNEELED DOWN during the playing of the national anthem. Pretending he now respects Martin Luther King Jr. who led even larger and more significant protests was a hilarious broadside, sure to trigger the snowflakey left.

Regardless, many on the side of White know the respit is short-lived. “I’ll be back out there tomorrow,” Simmons said from his lawn chair, his face screwing up tight with determination. “I’ve got to get down to the welfare office and cash my check. Then, after that, it’s right back to stopping those blacks from ruining our country.”


Brett EricksonComment