Attorney General Orders Harsher Sentences..."with a few exceptions."

(Washington, D.C.)  Attorney General Jeff Sessions ordered prosecutors across the country to pursue the strictest penalties for those committing crimes..."with a few exceptions." Sessions then turned to President Trump and began rubbing up against him like a cat.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions loves being the President's "good, little kitty."

Attorney General Jeff Sessions loves being the President's "good, little kitty."

The move, seen by Dumbocrats and even some Republicans as a return to the failed War on Drugs, will lead, they say, to bloated prisons filled with non-violent drug-users. "Hopefully," said Sessions while purring and rubbing his furry head on Trump's leg.

"But, let me be clear," Sessions continued after lapping up a saucer of milk in the President's kitchen. "We will be tough on crime. All crime." The Attorney General then looked over at the President and cooed, "with a few exceptions."

"We can't very well Make America Great Again if the President is in jail for colluding with a foreign government to usurp the election process and then obstructing justice in the subsequent investigation. I mean, duh," Sessions remarked before stretching out in the midday sun and taking a nap on the back of the President's couch. "Some crimes are just more important than others."

The phrase, "with a few exceptions" plays on the letter President Trump's lawyers released concerning his investments in Mother Russia, noting that the President had NO investments with the foreign country..."with a few exceptions." Libtards have even turned this into a meme that began trending on Twitter. "I don't think it's funny," Sessions said while cleaning himself with his tongue. "I don't think anything's funny. I mean it. We're going to put druggies in jail, especially if they're black and we're going to chalk up the treason as just scrambling a few eggs on the road to Making America Great Again."

The AG then coughed up a hairball and chased a mouse out of the troom.

Brett EricksonComment